kept the flowers

Music is my boyfriend

I have a very distinct memory of being in my best friend’s bedroom when wmusice were teenagers. We were just hanging out, listening to music, and giggling. Typical teen stuff.

Then my annoying neighborhood arch enemy intruded—moody and brooding as usual. I don’t know what he wanted, but he ended up chastising us for, well, being teenage girls. Apparently hanging out and listening to music meant we didn’t know there was a real world outside, with real problems…that there was more to life than what we were doing.

I remember being struck by the strangeness of his words then, and even still today. Because now I certainly have seen the real world and experienced some terrible things. No, you can’t just live in a cocoon and hang out with your best friend and listen to music your entire life…unfortunately.

But funny enough, just the other night, my husband and our friend and I spent an entire night listening to music and laughing. (Mostly spurred by our friend critiquing my music library.) It was one of those nights where staying up super late wasn’t planned…it just kinda happened because time flies when you’re ignoring the real world.

So you know what? Give me nights of listening to music, hanging out, and giggling. Give me plenty of them. And certainly give me that over the real world any time.

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I’ll be all right…just not tonight

Sometimes the best way to express what’s in our souls is through a song. But instead of boyfriends and exes, lately I find myself directing lyrics at my bipolar disorder.

Since I’m currently in a depression that’s been haunting me for months, the songs I identify with do tend to be melancholy, however, sometimes there’s also a hint of hope in the lyrics (thankfully I still have hope that I will find medications to make me feel and function like myself again).

The song of the night is Gonna Get Over You by Sara Bareilles.

I’ll be all right, just not tonight,

I’m not the girl that I intend to be, but
I dare you darling, just you wait and see

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