kept the flowers

Swallow your pride

on 04/15/2012

Pride. It’s one of the worst Seven Deadly Sins. Apparently, it’s the reason that Satan fell from heaven. Who knew?satan falls from heaven

Today, I think pride is usually used to describe someone’s ego and what causes someone’s refusal to apologize or admit they’re wrong. It can be quite a beast. I’ve had my pride bruised pretty bad—and it sucks. It sometimes results in me strutting and pacing around the house as I declare others’ wrongdoing and my infinite wisdom.

Luckily for me, that’s usually the extent of my reaction to a bruised ego. But I’ve seen others take it to new levels of destructiveness. And it seems that once their pride monster has been awakened, it can be difficult to put back in it’s place. Just like watching someone suffer from an addiction, all you can do is sit back and wait until they’re ready to stop.

Then you have the pride that prevents you from admitting that you’re wrong or refusing to take the high road in a fight. I think a whole lot of people suffer from this…myself included. Sometimes it’s about not wanting to ‘lose face’ or lose the fight. Other times we may truly believe that we’re right. “I wasn’t wrong, so why should I apologize?” But I think a majority of times, it’s simply not wanting to admit that we’re Wrong.

The W word is very strong and extremely threatening to our pride. Why is that? Does the human condition make us fearful of being wrong by nature? I do feel like it’s always been engrained in me. And I’ve definitely known people who would rather lose a limb that lose an argument.

But there are situations that force us to swallow our pride. I think we tend to learn that skill quickly upon entering the real world. Whether it’s for your boss, a client, a partner, or even the DMV, it seems that ditching our pride becomes a vital survival skill. Humility and the ability to say “I’m sorry” are like tickets out of precarious situations. And maybe, just maybe, we even learn to admit to ourselves that we were Wrong.

Though this seems to be extremely difficult to do with your partner—and may get harder the longer you’ve been together. But hopefully by that point, you will have realized that there isn’t just Right and Wrong. There are many many shades of gray between those poles….and just because you were wrong about something doesn’t mean you were wrong about everything (necessarily).

I have come to realize that love means always having to say you’re sorry. Sometimes saying those two words can melt away a fight and open the doors to communication in mere moments.

That is, if you manage to swallow that pesky pride first.

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